Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
