i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
