Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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