The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
