My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
