I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i think my mom watched the whole time
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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