we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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