Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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