Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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