If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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