Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
