Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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