Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
