im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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