I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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