How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
