I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
My feet surprised me
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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