I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
