hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
