If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
