Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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