Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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