doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
