I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
