just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
