i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Two words: blizzard sex
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
