dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
