Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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