whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
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