well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
