so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
