Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
