You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
