I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
