GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Randomize
