do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
