i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
