broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
