Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
