The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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