just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
