just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I need water and some morals
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
