if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
