Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize