Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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