Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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