sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
