I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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