We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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