i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
