Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm, like, this ðŸ¤ðŸ¼ close to buying crocs
And you're also ðŸ¤ðŸ¼ to never putting your dick inside me again
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