my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize