Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
