I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize