u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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