Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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