Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
