is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
