Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
