I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize