Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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