Just fell off a train. Bad.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
