Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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