just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
