that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
