i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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