I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I need a beard to bite.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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