i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
