we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
NoShamevember. You game?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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