dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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