Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
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